NORMAL OR NUTS

I read an interesting article in the Reader’s Digest, “Normal or Nuts.” Among the “Nuts”  categories is loss of memory. I wonder why this was associated with other neuroses, for losing one’s memory does not mean one is “crazy.” The constant question I hear around the dining table in our retirement community is, “Am I losing my mind? I can’t remember names or lose so many things.” Stories about losing it ensue. A woman gave birth to a child at age 65, and then forgot where she put her.A 80 year old man married a much younger woman, and then forgot where he lived! An elderly gentleman proposed to an older woman and she said, “yes.’ But then he forgot her answer, so called to ask her if she said “yes” or no” and she replied. “I did say ‘yes.’ but I forgot who asked me!” Such funny stories are uusally followed by moments of silence as we all know we are forgetting names, where we placed things and where we parked the car (if we are still driving), Years ago I tried to remember named by association. In my first parish, the matriarch was named Mrs. Frost, and so I associated her name with Winter. The next Sunday I warmly greeted her with the words, ‘Good morning, Mrs. Snow,” whereupon she shot me a dagger look and replied, “My name is  Mrs Frost!”  I still try to remember the 120 names of residents in this retirement community by association, but it doesn’t always work. When someone puts me on the spot and  says to me, “You don’t know who I am, do you?” I reply, “No, who are you?”  Some people suffering memory loss are afraid they are developing dementia.  There is a normal loss of memory as we age. The brain starts to shink, and brain cells die.  However, if you forgot where you put your shoes and found them in the refrigerator or you forgot what happened to your keys and find them in the oven, you should consult a neurologist. I believe as we grow older, we can train our brain and grow new brain cells every day. Writing this blog helps me, even if no one reads what I wrote. Someone has said that there afre three major losses as we grow old; loss of independence, loss of physical srength, and . . . . . . .I forgot the third!

2012 – ANOTHER YEAR FOR DOOMSDAY CHATTER

It’s happened before, it will happen again, someone predicting the end  of the world. The early Christians expected Jesus to return and usher in the kingdom in their life time. Some at Thessalonica even refused to work, and just sat  around awaiting Jesus’ return at any moment. I recall the hype about the new milennium approaching in 2000, as if that might signal the end of the world. But its 12 years later and we’re still here. We survived one end-of-the-world prediction that the world would end between May 21 and October, 2011. Now we face the grim news that on December 21, 2012, the Mayan calendar reaches the end of its 5,126 year calendar. Some are even plunging into the countdown using their smart phones to check how many days are left before we get the news, “that’s all folks!” As of today, we have 303 days left if that prediction is correct.  What irriates me is the way these doomsayers misuse the Book of Revelation to announce their  dire prophecies. These “preachers” shout  about hell as “the lake of fire,” and try to predict when the final battle of Armageddon will be fought. Reinhold Niebuhr wrote, “the Book of Revelation has nothing to  say about the temperature of hell or the furniture of heaven!” John wrote the book in code to a suffering church, enduring relentless persecution from the Roman Empire. It was intended to comfort, not condemn, to reassure, not  to frighten. It presents a God of love who wipes away all tears from our eyes, and reminds its readers in every century that beyond the evil that exists in our world, the Lord God omnipotent reigns! The important thing is to live each day as if it were our last, and be ready whatever comes. As the Psalmist wrote, “So teach us to number our days that we might get a wise heart.” We talked about the Mayan calendar ending on December 21, 2002 at the dinner table in our dining room and our wounderful 101 year old resident, Josie, said, “Really? We’ll just have to stick around and see.”

A DOCTOR’S VIEW OF AGING

Strange things often occur in doctor’s waiting rooms. Once  I overheard a conversation between an elderly woman and a much younger man. The doctor had kept her waiting for a long time, so the woman kept glancing at her watch.The gentleman said to her ,”Why are you so anxious about time. Your’re retired and have a lot of time.” The woman replied,” Sir, I am 85 years old, so every minute is precious.”  In a waiting room in Florida, where many of the patients were retirees, the receptionist told the doctor, “I just can’ t tell those older people their time is up.” My neurologist told me about a new book written by Dr. Marc E. Agronin, “ How We Age: A Doctor’s Journey into the Heart of Growing Old,” which  begins by stating that for nearly every doctor, the very first encounter in medical school with an old person is with a corpse as they performed an autopsy. He  is now is physician in a nursing home in Miami, that some would dismiss as “God’s waiting room”  Most of the people he uses as his models  about are residents there. Agronin offers a refreshing, unique look at human aging, referring to it as, “a mystery that requires meaning rather than a problem that requires solution”  He decries the age-centric perspective that views old age as a time of debility, disease, dementia and decline. His positive approach to aging is  counter to the current slew  of books that attempt to turn back the clock and preserve physical youth. Although he realistically describes the inevitable changes that occur with aging, he points to the strengths being old brings. His book brought to mind  how Kinglsey describes old age,  “So we’ll laugh, and pray and sing, as gilded butterflies and  take upon us the mystery of things as if we were God’s spies.” I’m working through Agronin’s s book  now, and will probably  take it with me to read the next time I wait in a doctor’s office.

I’m reading a  new book on Aging from a Zen Buddhist priest, Lewis Richmond. Aging as a Spiritual Practice offers some good insight into the art of aging. This book includes a helpful chapter on “What Buddhism Teaches” (about Aging). Another chapter, Conquering the Five Fears”describe five fears from the ancient Buddhist tradition: fear of death, fear of illness, fear of losing one’s mind, fear of loss of livelihood and fear of public speaking. Except for the last, these five  fears seem to describe the kinds of a anxiety that aging brings. I can easily relate to all of these fears:Fear  of Losing One’s Mind, is real. There are times when I can’t remember a name or word. I used to pride myself on my sharp memory. I could easily recite the names of mostly every player on major league teams. But no  more. I have to resort to memonic tricks to remember names and places. I believe every older person fears loss of memory. We joke about a “senior” or “milennial” moment, but a haunting fear of Alzheimer’s  disease lurks in the shadows. I am fortunate not besieged  by fear of loss of income, and careful retirement planning has been the answer…. so far! I am not afraid of public speaking and still do occasional supply. My fear is that I will fall down getting in and out of the pulpit! So I  breathe a silent prayer as I enter a pulpit, “Now unto him who is able to keep you from falling…..”  The words of Franklin Delano Roosevelt from his March 4, 1933 inaugural address, still ring true. ” The only thing we have to fear is fear itslf.’ I do recommend this helpful book for ways to find a healthy, meaningful aging. and that’s my view from eighty for today.

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

I guess I’m different, but I prefer going to the funeral service when someone died, rather than seeing them “laid out” in a funeral home. It’s hard for some people to realize the finality of death, when cosmetics tries to masquerade death. I went to a funeral mass today for a friend who was 94 yearsold when he died. I followed the funeral procession to the church. We made our way through the narrow streets of  row after row of company houses in this former coal town, where people “sold their souls to the company store.”As we approached the church, the bell repeatedly tolled in a mournful manner. I love the dignity of the Catholic funeral Mass, and the solemnity which leads to meditation.  In my long life of ministry, I led hundreds of funerals.Now, I have become a professional mourner.  As I sat in the sanctuary awaiting the Mass, my mind went back to one memorable funeral experience. The deceased woman’s final wish was to be taken across the Blue Ridge Parkway to a small countrty church, buried in the hills. I rode with the funeral director and he lost his way. Finally I spied a state policeman who gave us an escort to the church.We arrived one hour late! When he saw the hearse arriving, the old preacher stood and said in a loud voice, “Now that the corpse has arrived, everyone pass out the bier!” I was afraid one of the pall bearers got the wrong message, as he went back to his car to look for beer. .  The preacher had made a mistake and should have said, “Everyone pass around the bier”. A heavy snow then fell as we took the body up a steep hill for final burial. I was relieved when this experience came to an end. I will always remember the tolling of the bell … and John Donne’s words, “Ask  not for whom the bell tolls. it tolls for thee.” Each day is a gift at my age!

Dear Blog Readers:  The reasons for this hiccup in my blogs are (1) Im ‘ having a deuce of a time getting on my blog through WordPress. Since they cannot be reached by phone, I am emeshed in the electronic world trying to figure this out. (2) I have hit a writing block with not much to say. There is a vast difference between having to write something and having something to write! But I will be writing anther blog soon, so stay tuned. “To my virtues be very blind; to my vices be very kind.”

A RUMBLING COMING

Off in the distance one can hear the rumbling coming, it is the retirement of the Baby Boomers, that generation born between 1946 and 1963. The exodus had begun and will continue as 79 million  Boomers will cross the gray line. So, I was amused by Joel Stein’s editiorial in Time magazine, “I Hope I Due Before I Have to Live with Old People.” He wasn’t talking about my generation, but the coming wave of retirees in the Boomer generation. There’s no question that these adults will demand more and those who just turned 65 and moving into retirement community an driving the Greatest Generation crazy. Among other major changes the Boomers bring to Aging, there are a few. (1) They want to age in place and stay put in their homes. This means making their present home more handicapped accessible or moving to condos. (2) The affluent Boomers may move to retirement communities, but they will demand swimming pools, golf courses, and mega access to Internet. Present CCRC will not appeal to this generation. (3) Boomers will work longer as the “age” for being old becomes 72. (4) Due to the cost of healthcare and uncertainty of social security, Boomers in the Middle Class will find themselves near or at the poverty level.  I live with older people in a community where the average age is 90. With some exceptions I do not find these people cranky and confused. Indeed, there is a wealth of knowledge, garnered from experience that make these old people society’s treasures.  So, in a way I can endorse Mr.Stein’s caption. I I hope I do die before this new generation takes hold.